Some of the most beautiful sites in Japan are the oldest...old buildings, pieces of art, furniture...I really love old Japan. But not all that's old is worth keeping! The Bible surely talks about this--in fact when we come to Christ, he takes our 'old' heart of stone, and gives us a 'new' heart of flesh.
Over the last few months, I have been teaching biblical child rearing to mothers of our Kid's Brown English students. This is new for them! And like all of us, there are old habits and practices that are not worth keeping. But it's hard to let go of the familiar and comfortable. These sessions have confirmed something for me though. The only hope for any of us is in biblical principals. Not American ideas, or Japanese ideas...we need God's ideas for how to love and raise our kids. I've also realized how hard it is for me to separate my own American ideas...the old habits that I have that aren't worth keeping...from biblical principals. So it's been a mutual learning experience.
Next week we will wrap up the series with talking about 'discipline'. My older kids remind me regularly that I was a much more strict disciplinarian when they were small than when their younger siblings were. And it's true...but why? Because I got tired and lazy and let the smaller ones off the hook easier? Because I realized I was too harsh, and wanted to be more balanced? Because I was too busy to notice the younger ones needed discipline? I think it could be a combination of all those things.
I know I've also grown in grace. When Katelyn and Sam were young, I was really interested in their obedience--outward compliance, without much thought to their hearts. With the younger kids, I was more aware that outward obedience without a change of heart was legalism--Pharisaical. I don't want to raise kids who look good outside, but are rebels inside. More than anything, I want their hearts to be soft toward God, and for this to be the wellspring of all their behavior.
That's my desire for my own kids...it's no small thing to accomplish, much less to then teach and impart to others! We need God's spirit. We all need heart change that only he can give. So I'll prepare the lesson about discipline. But at the same time, will be praying for God to work in the hearts of all of us moms and our kids too. Would you join me in praying for this miracle of grace?
Because parenting made me a better teacher the concept for America Learns, a network for parent support, was created in 1992. Now, with the help of technology I hope to make this dream a reality. Penelope Leach wrote "Children First" in 1994 but I have just discovered it. We have a ministry to families in common. I will pray for the miracle of grace.
ReplyDeleteGood article, Amy! I am reminded one of the things that makes it so hard to address heart issues rather than outward conformity, I think is this, it is yet another area in our lives we have to give up control. We cannot change our children's hearts and while called to model and instruct we are ultimately left with the option of prayer--looking to God to do what we cannot do! And I realize in so doing, God has us where He wants us to be...
ReplyDeleteThanks again, Amy and may the many Japanese who are looking for answers on how to raise children turn to God with this trust!
It's another area where the nitty gritty of applying the Gospel is HARD! We can talk about it and think we 'get it' all day long, but in relationships, having to apply sometimes feels like death. :-) A lifelong learning process...and thankful for God's grace when we fail in his grace!!
DeleteThanks for sharing! I could echo so much of that. As a young mom, outward obedience fed my pride. But as God continues to work on me, I realize what is best is a genuine heart. A heart that loves, and desires what is good, truthful, and pure, rather than just outward obedience. It is hard to be transparent, and to let God show us those areas that need pruning. I pray for you as you teach others HIS principles. BTW you are a great mom!
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